Sunday, April 24, 2011

A different type of romance

*Blogger's note: This is a post written on another site in 2007. I thought it was worth saving and carrying forth to this new blog of mine*

It’s a classic story:

Boy meets girl,
boy falls in love with girl,
boy pursues girl until girl falls in love with boy
boy treats girl like crap
Girl still loves boy.

The days of happily ever after are long gone…or maybe they just never existed. Maybe the “happily every after” part ended all fairy tales to save the reader the anguish of finding out what happens to relationships when the romance is gone, or when someone cheats, or treats the other like scum of the earth or when people stay in their relationships for convenience rather than love. Maybe the author of these tales wanted to save our innocent notions of love and romance, or maybe they just wanted to spare us the agony of realizing another kind of tale of romance…one that can truly be described as being sadistic and masochist. Yes, you read it right…S&M relationships. These are relationships where the two people involved seem to find some sort of twisted pleasure in either hurting themselves or in hurting the person they love…not physically but emotionally.

It seems like there are a lot of these going around these days. Or maybe it’s not a new phenomena at all for after all, the burning Scarlet Letter on Hester Prynne’s chest was proof of a woman’s decision to emotionally hurt herself in the name of love by not revealing her lover’s name. Some would say that she loved him so much that she would much rather live the rest of her life as an outcast than expose him to the world. However, I could argue that by continually protecting his name in exchange for her own public humiliation, she perhaps felt triumphant, elated even, for having passed a test of love…and in doing so, gave him the power over her life. In other words, she was the masochist and he was the sadist.

The incidence of such relationships seems to be growing in recent times. However, I do not understand the attraction of these relationships. Why do girls insist on being in relationships where they have to play these emotional mind games? Do these girls enjoy being hurt in the name of love? How many times must a girl suffer a blow to her self-respect before she finally realizes that it is not worth it? I’ve seen gorgeous, smart, intelligent girls who foolishly pass the strings of their lives into the hands of men who take those very strings and polish them into nooses around their necks; dangling them mercilessly at their every whim and fancy. I’ve seen sensitive, caring, nice guys turn into complete monsters when given such complete power of their girlfriend’s lives. These guys grow to enjoy the power they can wield on these girls and grow more sadistic as the relationship proceeds.

Its perfectly sad and disgusting at the same time. At a time when women are competing foot-to-foot with men in every aspect of society, these women seem to be holding us from ever fully reaching shoulder-to-shoulder because of their need to belong. These women feel that having a man completes them and they are willing to stand not-so-tall to make it happen. These women need constant reassurance of how beautiful, wonderful and amazing they are and they are willing to pay the price by allowing these men to emotionally toy around with them. If not then why are there women still in love with men who cheat on them? Or with men who would rather blow them off for a night with the guyz? Or with men who show so much love behind closed doors but none when the doors open and the world is watching?

Women complain that all men are jerks but the truth is that they make them that way. Women let men get away with it. If every woman who was/is in a relationship with a man who was a jerk, walked out on that relationship then wouldn’t these men feel compelled to change their ways? If women didn’t give these men the power to hurt them in the name of love then these men would soon loose their ability to hurt. Perhaps then women will realize that they do not need to be masochist in order to keep a man and perhaps then men will realize that being sadistic is not the way to hold onto their love. Once both sexes realize that emotional pain and suffering do not HAVE to be a part of a romantic relationship, the true path to “happily ever after” might surface.

What do you think?
ps: this note is NOT about guyz being jerks. if your comment has ANYTHING to do with proving that I am bashing guyz then ima gonna hafta come and bash u in person...*snarl*

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